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Dear lil miss…

Dear lil miss,

               Hey there tiny! I just wanted to give you a lil pointer. Although you might think you are as slick as a cat you really aren’t. As much as mom made you to believe she bought your little white lie, she really didn’t. She knew you ate that chocolate bar because she seen it seeping out of your tiny nostrils. Just as the coloring of the grape juice lingered around your nose last week and yet you were so “persuasive” that you were innocent. Sorry little lady, cleft palate tends to share your secrets when you least expect it….

Now, if I had to think back to 24 years you are now 5 years old.

I’d say you are sitting in front of a tv as we speak. Snacking on a sliced Kraft cheese or perhaps a piece of celery with a bit of peanut butter as mom is cooking dinner. Even though you despise raw celery, you just buttered her up for a 3rd snack. The only reason it got approved was due to the reason you used  “it’s healthy snack Barney said-so.” Who could say no to that?! Genius!! While mom was busy cooking you’d lick off the peanut butter and sneak the celery into the trash afterwards.

According to you, you’re “starving.” The real reason you chose not to eat the school lunch. Because knowing picky you, it was probably Pastrami Sandwich today and we all know how much you hate Pastrami. Just to inform you, nothing’s changed still hate till now. You might be watching “The Simpsons” or “Full House” with grandpa as he drinks his V8 drink, since mom said its time to put the beer down.

This is your favorite part of the day. You are home, you’re safe with the ones who shows you love most. Soaking it all up not wanting it to stop. I am pretty sure you are planning to play the “sick card” tomorrow morning, just to get out of going school. Why? Maybe it was that 5th grader who scared you in the bathroom and took your $0.50 for your juice.

Or it could be that you want to avoid those kids who teased you about your mouth after school today. Well I am here to tell you today will not be your worst there will be more and you’ll overcome it just as you do with any other tough day.

Dear little 7-year-old self,

               You are 7 years now man how time flew. It’s nice to know those kids you were once sad to see at school are now your friends. How awesome is that?! You finally started to feel good about going to school, those “sick days” are behind you. Everything seems to be going well until your mom decides that you folks need to get a place of your own.

 There’s a new man and he is not dad or grandpa.

She wants us all to start a new life with him. Moving away from Grandpa doesn’t seem right. You come sad thinking there will no longer be midnight snacking with him. Those were the best, you always felt special because it was just the 2 of you.

 Who is going to sit with him now? You ask yourself.  He will be in that house all alone.

As much as you want to object let’s not make mom upset. So here we are in a new home, about to start a new school. First day rolls up pretty fast. You get an upset stomach, worried about how these new kids will be. Fortunately, mom got a job working with the school vice principal.

Can you smell special treatment?!

Too bad little girl, you are just another student to her. SUCKER! I am just kidding. Things in this new school goes well. We make some good friends and no one teases you. You’ve made your mark! Finally found a place you fit in. On the plus side we get to visit grandpa every so often. Not as much as you’d like, but better than nothing.

3rd grades creeps up and you are now 8 years old. You’ve witness more things than anyone your age should. But let’s not tell dad…

Drugs become apart of your life and you see how it changes a person. It ends up causing problems for the family. One, day mom says we’re moving again. Feelings of sadness overwhelms you. This time we are moving to the other side of the island about 2-3 hours away from everyone we love. This move brings more sadness, and I am here to say this too you will overcome.

Dear 9-year-old self,

               Hi mini me! You are now in 4th grade! How is that working out for you? You got a step sister and a step brother. They’re living with you folks now, that is cool. You have also made a few good friends. You get to see your dad every other weekend. And grandpa well…. again, not as much as you’d like to. But he seems to be okay, he now has company from your aunty and cousins.

Still things seems to be rocky with this little family.

You notice your step-dad is taking his frustrations out on your brother which no child should ever endure.

Mom starts to get sick often and she is in and out of the hospital. Majority of the time there are nights spent in the car of the parking lot at the Emergency room. One day she gets sick where she needs to go off island for treatment. So, big brother and you get to stay with dad guys for awhile. As sad as the situation is, you and your brother are super happy.

You are away from the tension and best part your with dad and near the rest of the family. You miss pretty much half of your 4th grade but you get back into it as soon as mom gets better.

Then one night mom calls a family meeting and tells you folks we are moving again.

Only now it’s across the Pacific Ocean. This time mom says it will be better for you folks. She’ll be able to see the doctors that she needs.

She also adds in all the cool things we will get to experience, she says you will have a

“WHITE CHRISTMAS” that is so cool, it don’t snow in the islands!! 

The thought of seeing snow gets you so excited making you eager to move. By the end of your 1998 summer you folks are all set to move. It’s move day and the excitement of seeing new things no longer seems so thrilling.

You see the sadness in both your aunty and grandpa’s eyes. Luckily we said our goodbyes to dad a few days ago, otherwise you’d be a complete mess. You also had to say goodbye to your Step-brother and Step-sister, unfortunately they can’t come with. Once again, it’s just you and your big brother (your rock, your comforter of course we aren’t gonna let him know).

With him by your side you can say Goodbye Hawaii…. Hello Oregon.

Well Oregon is another chapter for you folks and boy look at this letter! What was supposed to be a quick hello turned into a novel. Well, I gotta run! This is taking a lot longer than usual. Stay tuned for part 2 letter to myself. In the meantime, keep your head up. Try not to fight with your brother and quit being a brat it doesn’t suit you. I’ll be in touch. Till then….

Keep Smiling & stay blessed

xoxo

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4 thoughts on “Dear lil miss…

    1. Yeah tried adding some humor. But this was a little hard to do. Needed to take a break. Part 2 is on its way.Thanks for reading!

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